Should Valentine’s Day Really Mean Flowers And Candy?
By Andrew Kaplan I just received an e-mail from someone whos been dating a girl for about three weeks, and with Valentines Day fast approaching, he doesnt know whether he should take her out for a nice romantic dinner or if a couple dozen roses will do the trick. My question to him is: why do either?? Were talking about a relationship (if you can even call it that just yet) that hasnt even reached a full month, and already, this guy is positioning himself as a boring, pathetic, needy punk. All because a certain day on the calendar year tells him to do so. Valentines Day carries with it an inherent ability to really push the guy courts girl, and by result, must bend over backwards to satisfy her mentality. Sadly, this concept has infiltrated virtually every corner of Americana, and there doesnt seem to be any signs of this changing anytime soon. Less than four weeks into dating someone, many people automatically feel this tremendous obligation to act in a certain way. Theyre basically bullied by the socially-imposed standards of our society into extending themselves past the point of their own internal comfort. Theyre asked to be someone who they really arent. And what they fail to realize is that by submitting to this false standard, theyre failing a very important test in the process. Theyre lowering their value to unrecoverable depths and carrying themselves in a way that screams Im not good enough. To set the record straight, my problem with Valentines Day isnt the fact that women in this dynamic end up being treated well. Both parties SHOULD be treating each other well. Otherwise, whats the point of being with someone? My problem instead, is the implication that the guy in this dynamic isnt worthy of being in this relationship on his own merit. His value is so low that he must placate through the use of flowers, candy, expensive dinners, or anything else of material worth. In effect, the guy must buy his way into his position in the relationship. And as soon as he approaches things from that perspective, whether its Valentines Day or any normal day of the year, he weakens his status, becomes far less attractive in his mates eyes, and usually ends up being dumped soon after. The way I look at things, if you truly WANT to go out and spend a lot of money on Valentines Day, then more power to you. As I say often in my CreateYourCharisma.com newsletters, the true path to being charismatic, appealing, and someone who magnetically pulls others in is to be as congruent with your own internal preferences as you possibly can. And if that includes emptying your wallet on a specific day of the calendar year say February 14, for instance then go right ahead. But trust me when I say you should really make a point of refraining from such behavior if you dont think the other party has earned it just yet. It doesnt matter if its Valentines Day, their birthday, Christmas, or anything else. If you dont feel like the other party has taken an important enough place in your life, then dont send a mixed signal that indicates such. Engaging in this type of desperate puppy-dog, mommas boy behavior when it isnt really a reflection of who you are is really just another way of compromising your own principles, lowering your value, and by result, forfeiting your right to be in the relationship in the first place. You need to be someone who can be respected, after all. Now Im not the first person to say this. And its a pretty safe bet that I wont be the last. That fact in and of itself tells me as it should tell you that people just arent paying attention. Theyre continuously repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Theyre getting dumped in the worst ways. And theyre wondering why. So this Valentines Day, give with YOUR heart. Not societys. Not Hallmarks. Not your older sisters (who just happens to drag her husband around by a leash). If youre really worthy of someone elses company, then your company alone should be good enough for them. And that holds true whether you come bearing 4 dozen roses or just a single one. Its true whether you pay top dollar for some fancy meal or you simply spring for the next round of drinks. Nothing is worth anything if the person giving it isnt worth something themselves. So this February 14, remember that your real gift is your time and attention. Because you really cant put a price on making someone feel good to be around you. Charismatic, worthy, attractive people know this. Thats what makes them so charismatic to begin with. Andrew Kaplan is the founder of http://www.createyourcharisma.com and has authored three books, including “The Charisma Creator.” As a professional speaker, college professor, and well-respected consultant, he helps others build their own skills in many viable areas of communication. Having spent the past few years personally consulting with clients for the purposes of improving their social interaction in both dating and business, Andrew is now taking what he has learned to a much broader level and offering his content in a simple, easily accessible format. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Kaplan http://EzineArticles.com/?Should-Valentines-Day-Really-Mean-Flowers-And-Candy?&id=448778 ultram no prescription cheapest tramadol online without prescription buy cheap tramadol 120 cod tramadol no prescription required 200 tablets
